YOLO pt.1

 This past weekend I have decided to detox my life from what no longer serves me, because although I started to feel like myself again I still feel like I'm acting the same; I would not say I am acting weirdly but rather different. In other words I don't really act the way I feel. It was and still is a necessary step in my opinion but however, my friend brought my attention to something that I didn't really notice which was that I won't be the exact same person that I was six months ago but rather a re-shaped version of that person...And I'm liking her so far tbh.

A couple days ago I started by detoxing my life, starting with my closet...got rid of whatever I feel no longer serves me whether it be clothes, objects...etc. 

As I emptied my whole closet and started sorting out through it I felt ecstatic, then I started to go through everything I own. It felt like I'm detoxing myself PHYSICALLY;  and then cleaning everything afterwards felt like a reset. I didn't even notice that the time until I looked through the window and the sun was up I've been doing that for at least the past seven hours and I didn't even notice! And the cool thing is I noticed how much I have changed cause I stumbled upon a few things that I would never use/wear now, but it wasn't a " What was I thinking ?" moment but a "I can't believe I came all this way" one.

I then showered and kept imagining that I'm cleaning my soul as well I then had the best sleep that I've had in a while...I spent the next couple of days getting to know me more...I kept exploring and listening to songs and different types of music that I always thought I didn't like but guess what...turns out I actually like some. I danced my heart out to new beats and I liked it!!! Turns out I also liked when beats are repeated in a song (I don't even know what they call it...but I had never thought that I would actually enjoy it) and that I don't actually hate Kanye West songs, and there's no shame in that XD

When I put that in my mind and activated that switch within somehow...suddenly the bad bitch was unleashed and I felt that I somwhow  gained back my confidence. And bit by bit within two days I started getting back to a routine that felt very familiar however not the exact same of course but for example went and got my nails done and chose long ones ....and then I noticed that the last time I got long nails was right before my birth day which was like seven months ago!!!! And that I have forgotten how much I enjoyed getting long nails every once in a while.

And started actually EATING good food and to listen to my body and actually appreciate everything its doing for me by feeding it.

So I decided to allow myself to re-shape and re-transform whenever I need it and to not block this transformation whether physically, spiritually or however, and most importantly...to let myself and my body  feel...pleasure....pain....emotions, because at the end YOLO and all of this is a part of my journey. So I guess right now I would say "Welcome back " to myself!

I LET MYSELF BE .